


Dead of Heart

by SheLookedOfDeath



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Depression, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Officer!Levi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Build, Torture, Violence, student!eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2018-08-13 13:05:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7977754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheLookedOfDeath/pseuds/SheLookedOfDeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Undead emerge from the shadows and lay waste to humanity, those who wish to live must fight to survive. </p><p>Eren Jaeger is a high school senior when his life is thrown into chaos by a mysterious disease that brings the dead back, and with a taste for human flesh. In this dangerous new world, he will do whatever it takes to find his friends and wipe the infected off the face of the Earth. </p><p>Where there is love, there is sacrifice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. June: 41 Days Since Infection

**Author's Note:**

> NOTICE: THIS IS A NEWLY EDITED VERSION OF CHAPTER ONE. I SUGGEST RE-READING IF YOU'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE.
> 
> I hope you like this Zombie AU! 
> 
> This is (very) loosely based off of The Walking Dead, so don't worry if you haven't seen the show, I don't use any of the characters or places, but the idea is the similar. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Mercy.

 

I had forgotten what it felt like, what it meant. I had forgotten other things too. What food tastes like, how water soothes your throat, how to wake up from nightmares and know they weren’t real. I had recently discovered that having a faint pulse has nothing to do with being alive, but I suppose we were already all a little dead.

* * *

 

The sun was harsh. Perhaps if I cared enough, or if it mattered, I could have found a shirt that wasn’t ripped apart and stained, but as it was I just kept walking. My limbs felt heavy, like my veins were full of lead, and my mind was so clouded I could barely think. Halfheartedly, I kicked gravel and chunks of concrete out of my way, knowing that I would inevitably trip if I paid a fraction less of attention to where I was placing my feet. I heard a clatter to my right, and was startled, until I realized I had dropped the bloody knife I had been holding. It simply slipped through my grip, and I knew that my body was telling me to rest but I couldn't. Bending down slowly, I wrapped my fingers around the handle and squeezed hard, as though by pretending I had some sort of feeling in my limbs I could trick myself into thinking I was fine. My ears suddenly tuned into a scuffling sound from somewhere behind me, and I paused for a moment, letting the tension build in my muscles and the adrenaline shock my system before I spun around.

 

A person was heading directly for me, their eyes blank, their motions jerky and awkward. I knew I should have been worried, but I wasn’t. I had learned by now that my blood didn’t suit their appetites. Summoning my energy, I rushed forward and drove the knife into their stomach, then pulled it out roughly and jammed it into their skull, pushing the rusted carbon steel deeper until it was buried to the hilt in their cranium. I ignored the gore that soaked their clothing; it was undoubtedly an iron cocktail of past encounters that I could not afford to allow into my thoughts. As their body dropped with a thud to the ground, I wiped the blade on my thigh, uncaring of the stain it left on my dirty jeans.

 

I kept walking. That was all I could do, just keep moving. Surviving, if you could call it that. Other than them, the ones who had thrown my world into chaos, I had not seen a real human in days, maybe weeks. I wasn’t keeping track. It was a beautiful road, the one I had stumbled upon, twisting through lush forests buzzing with summer life that was blissfully ignorant of the surrounding hell I found myself in. I veered around abandoned cars and scattered possessions, allowing my mind to retreat into itself and my body to run on autopilot. After what could have been hours or minutes, I saw a sign indicating the proximity of a nearby city: Trost. A burst of emotion passed through me before I retreated back into the comfort of my emptiness. Before it all happened, I had known people who lived there, people I had once cared about, but now I felt nothing and I had no one.

 

I started to whistle under my breath. My voice was coarse, broken from lack of use, but it was an old habit I couldn’t shake. The name of the tune was buried in the memories I had repressed, but the melody lingered on my tongue, the words a whisper in the landscape of my mouth. The sound of music filled my ears, built walls between myself and the silence pressing in on me. _I want your ugly, I want your disease, I want your everything as long as it’s free, I want your love…_

 

Suddenly, the world wasn’t as bright as before. I finally noticed the clouds that had been encroaching upon the sun all day, and at long last blocked out the light to release their cold offering to the surface. Raindrops shattered like liquid silver on my skin, caressing me and soothing me. The sky bathed me, embraced me, and when thunder rumbled and lightning exploded, I felt it in my chest more strongly than my own heartbeat. I cried, letting my salt mix with the tears of the heavens.

* * *

 

“Hey, kid, wake up!” I felt my body being shaken back and forth, and my conscious waded through the heavy fog of sleep to reach the forefront of my mind.

 

“Huh?” I mumbled blearily. Suddenly, violent images flashed across my vision and I bolted upright, promptly smacking into something.

 

“Ow!” I looked to see who had spoken, and saw a woman with long brown hair and glasses rubbing her forehead with a pained expression. I did the same thing to my own as an afterthought. She was crouching next to me, and I realized I was lying on a thin blanket, sprawled on the floor of a room I had never seen before. Panic encouraged my heart to convulse faster, and I scrambled backward, away from her, my back slamming into a wall.

 

“Where am I?” I didn’t recognize my own voice. She chuckled a bit, wincing.

 

“You’re fine, kid, don’t worry. You’re safe now, we got you out of there. What were you thinking, falling asleep in the middle of the road like that?! You’re lucky we got to you in time!”

 

“Hange? Hange!” A voice came from the other side of a door that I noticed was across the dark room. The only source of light came from a glowing yellow light stick clutched in the woman's hand. She sighed, adjusting her glasses before giving me a wide smile.

 

“Whatever they say or whatever happens, don’t be too scared, alright? Good luck, kid.” There was no time for confusion as the door slammed open and a tall young man with brown hair and wide eyes scurried over to her, grabbing her arm and yanking her towards the doorway.

 

“Hange, you can’t be in here! He hasn’t been fully inspected yet! What if he attacked you?!”

 

“You worry too much, Moblit, I’m fine!” She chuckled, patting him on the shoulder before turning to look at me. “Remember what I said.” Tossing me the light stick, she followed him outside. My muscles loosened and I slumped over, attempting to process what had happened. I tried to remember falling asleep, but the last thing I could recall was killing one of those people, then nothing. I peered around at the room, searching for my knife, but it was gone. _I’m probably somewhere in Trost_. At least, I hoped I was. Maybe. _Stop it, you have no use for hope. Hope is pointless. Hope couldn’t save you, it couldn’t save-_

 

“HEY.” Startled from my thoughts, I turned to see a middle-aged man with thin black hair and a goatee staring down at me.

 

“Who are you?” His face was expressionless as he wrote something down on a piece of paper.

 

“Responsive, that’s a start. What’s your name?” My jaw slacked. It was a simple question, but it shocked me. _Who am I? What am I doing here? What’s wrong with me?_ My head was spinning. Screams filled my ears, smoke filled my thoughts, blood stained my vision. “Hey, kid! I asked you a question!”

 

“Eren Jaeger,” I blurted reflexively. _Liar!_ My brain screamed. _He’s dead. He’s never coming back._

 

“Okay. Where are you from?” My throat seized up, and I could hear my own heartbeat.

 

“Shiganshina,” I breathed. Pity flashed briefly across his face before he continued asking me some simple questions. Then he suddenly made a gesture at the doorway, and two young men, both tall and muscular, strode in.

 

“Okay, kid, you’re going to have to undress or these guys will make you. We have to do a full body inspection to make sure you haven’t been bitten.” I froze. _Have I been bitten?_ I wasn’t sure. I had never experienced the bloodlust, I just knew something was wrong with me.  _If they think I'm one of the others, they will kill me without hesitation._  A surge of confidence filled me with determination, and I straightened, rising to my feet.

 

“I’m human.” They all exchanged glances, then watched as I stripped naked. I hadn’t bathed since it all started, two months ago according to this man, and my clothes were caked to my body, but with some effort I removed my t-shirt, jeans, underwear, shoes and socks. Immediately, the two men approached me wearing thick gloves, prodding me and shifting me around so they could search everywhere. I felt exposed and uncomfortable, but I grit my teeth and ignored the urge to shove them away. “Where am I?” The thought suddenly occurred to me, and I spoke out loud without meaning to.

 

“Does it matter?” The man looked at me, his gaze calculating. I shrugged, slightly annoyed by his response.

 

“Just wondering,” I grumbled. There was a long moment of silence before he spoke again.

 

"You're in a secure place, so don't try anything or we'll kill you on the spot.” Before I could respond, one of the men inspecting me spoke up.

 

“What’s this on your hand?” I followed his gaze to the bizarre pattern on my right thumb and wrist. It was dark red, with thin blotches making an arc over my skin.

 

“Birthmark,” I explained curtly, but before I could continue asking questions the men stepped away, their inspection finished.

 

“He looks clean, Dok. I say we can move on to the next stage.”


	2. Processed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren learns more about where he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is fairly short and not much happens, but there are good things coming, I promise!
> 
> Enjoy!

To my surprise, after I was allowed to tug my clothes back on, one of the men gripped my arm firmly and led me out of the door and into a long, dim hallway. The light coming from Dok’s flashlight swayed with our brisk steps, its strong beam glancing over cracked concrete walls and an uneven floor that was surprisingly clean. The air was musty and cold, and as we walked by other doors I could sense movement, the unwanted scent of living humans making itself known to me. 

 

"Move faster, kid, you aren't the only stray we picked up today." Dok snapped at me over his shoulder. A tendril of anger wrapped itself around my heart and tightened into a vice grip, but I bit down on my tongue and clenched my fists before I could do something stupid. I still had no idea who these people were and what they wanted from me. 

 

The flashlight settled on the last door to the left, which was being guarded by an armed police officer, and it hit me suddenly that all of the men I had seen so far had been wearing some version of a standard police uniform. This man's thick black vest with the printed words "POLICE" on the front left no doubt in my mind that these were local cops. He knocked on the door to alert our arrival, then shifted to the side to let us through. 

 

Waiting on the other side was an unexpected sight- some kind of temporary office had been pieced together with a long metal table, a metal chair, and a rusted filing cabinet. A large flashlight had been arranged in a position that easily illuminated the small room, casting slight shadows on the faces of two men who watched us enter expectantly. My eyes first fell upon the blond man who sat in the chair behind the desk. His broad frame and strong face held an aura of command, and I could feel his sharp eyes examining me. It was clear that whoever this man was, he was important, but as I was pushed forward to stand closer to the desk my gaze slid to the man standing next to him and my chest suddenly constricted. 

 

Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, I could see that this officer was clearly of a slighter stature than the man seated beside him, but his whole body radiated power. Straight black hair fell across the sides of his impassive face, thin eyebrows slightly pinched into a scowl that deepened as he took in my appearance. When our gazes met, my heart jumped in my chest. 

 

"Let's get this shit over with." His voice was deep and smooth, which wasn't helping my pulse, but I swore I could hear the irritation in his flat tone. 

 

"Here is everything the kid told me," Dok strode past me to the blond man and handed him a piece of paper that he had torn out of his small notebook. "His name is Eren Jaeger, from Shiganshina. Sir." He tagged on the honorific almost as an after-thought. The dark-haired man was still staring at me, but I was forced to look away when the other man spoke. 

 

"Hm. Well, Eren Jaeger, it's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Erwin Smith, I am the Police Commissioner of Trost. This is one of the captains from our department, Levi Ackerman," The surname stole my breath for a moment. "and Nile Dok, one of our inspectors."

 

"Why am I here? What is this place?" I was on edge and didn't bother trying to be polite. I knew we were underground somewhere, that much was obvious, and the sensation of being trapped had been slowing pressing in on me since I woke up in that dark room. 

 

"Watch your mouth, kid." Dok hissed. I glared at him until Erwin spoke again. 

 

"It's perfectly alright, Dok, Eren has just been through a stressful ordeal and deserves some answers." Despite the kind words, there was something about the commissioner that made me uncomfortable; the way his eyes bore into me felt like he could see through right to my soul. If I had one at this point.  

 

"Can we hurry this up? I have shit to do." 

 

"Levi," Erwin's voice held a clear warning, and he exchanged a meaningful glance with the captain before turning back to me. "Eren, I will have someone explain more to you, but for now I will simply say this. As you are aware, especially being from Shiganshina, something has been causing the newly dead to mimic the living, and they have displayed a clear desire to consume human flesh. Those of us from the Trost Police Department who made it out of the city were able to establish a secure base here in this factory where we could bring civilian survivors. You were picked up by one of our patrols, and since you have not been bitten or scratched, you will remain here among other survivors for as long as circumstances allow. Do you understand?"

 

As Erwin spoke, I realized that I was having difficulty holding myself upright. The room was tilting and shifting in and out of focus. 

 

"What are you going to do with that?" I blurted, gesturing to the paper Dok had given him. Erwin stood and approached the filing cabinet, pulling a binder from one of the drawers and setting it on the desk. 

 

"We are collecting the information of all the people we rescue as a record of who has survived."

 

"Oh." 

 

"Erwin, we have three more civilians to process and my unit has another patrol shift in an hour." 

 

The lack of formality between Erwin and Levi surprised me. 

 

"Very well. Dok, please escort Jaeger upstairs and hand him over to Brzenska. It was nice to meet you Eren, I am grateful you were able to make it here." As Dok led me out the door, I turned suddenly and ran back to Erwin's desk. 

 

"Has a Mikasa Ackerman or Armin Arlert come here?" The question tore out of me, my whole body humming with nervous anticipation for the commissioner's answer. He stared at me for a moment before flipping through the binder. There were more pages than I thought there were, but it only took a few minutes for him to respond. 

 

"No, I'm sorry."

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly know almost nothing about police officers, so if I make an error at any point please correct me!
> 
> I am going to try and update this as frequently as I can. I have a proper plan for this story, so I'm in it for the long haul. 
> 
> Let me know what you think so far in the comments!


	3. Faces Old and New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren takes a bath and learns more about Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not as long as I thought it was going to be, but I'm still really happy with how this chapter turned out. 
> 
> Also, never forget to proof-read your work, especially when you have a fever and decide to write a whole new chapter in one night. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_"Eren, where are you going?"_

 

_"Relax, mom. I forgot my notebook in Bio so Connie is bringing it to me. We're going to get burgers or something."_

 

_She always worries. Since Armin and Mikasa left for college, she thinks I can't take care of myself._

 

_"Which burger place? The Garrison? Sweetie that's too far for you to go on foot, let me drive you-"_

 

_"Stop it! I'll be fine. Just leave me alone."_

 

_When will she understand?_

 

_She gives me that look, her special hard stare that always seems out of place on her warm face, but finally she sighs._

 

_"Just don't stay out too long and don't eat too much. Your father should be coming home from work tonight, so I'm making a special dinner for the three of us."_

 

_"Jaeger."_

 

"Jaeger!"

 

My eyes flew open and I shot upright, my heart beating wildly in my chest. A vaguely familiar face was staring back at me in annoyance.

 

"Get your ass off the floor. You fainted."

 

"Huh?" She huffed and rose to her feet, pushing her glasses up with her forefinger.

 

"Don't give me that stupid look. Have you already forgotten where you are?" _Right. Rico Brzenska. Trost Police. End of the world._

 

"S-sorry ma'am." I tried to stand, but my body had other plans.

 

"Take it easy. Lucky for you, our resident doctor will be here in a second to check on you."

 

The pounding of footsteps was the only warning I had before someone was suddenly crouching in front of me, an intense expression on their face.

 

" _Eren!"_

 

"Hange!"

 

"Oh, you remembered me! What a cutie, I'm so glad you're not one of those flesh-eaters! But tell me, if you were bitten, would you let me examine you?" I smiled nervously, rubbing the back of my head.

 

"Uh, I guess...?"

 

"OOH, what a good boy! I'm always so glad to meet others with a similar passion for science!" I could tell she was winding up for something verbose, so I quickly held both of my hands out in a pacifying gesture and started to stand up again.

 

"Anyway Hange, you don't have to look at me, I'm totally fine. I think I still have to get a proper tour from Ms. Brzenska." Suddenly, Hange's whole demeanor changed, and she gave me a pointed stare.

 

"Now now, Eren, don't try to get out of your doctor's visit. You fainted, that's serious business. Moblit, help him get up so he can come to my office." I could feel panic start to stiffen my muscles, so I hurried upright with a forced grin.

 

"See? I'm totally fine. I think I was just exhausted. No need to worry about me." My eyes drifted away from Hange's unimpressed look, and I finally took in where I was.

 

The Trost Police Department, or what was left of it, had set up a secure base in what appeared to be an abandoned factory. Flaking paint worn by moisture and time exposed red brick walls that towered over us, supporting a curved ceiling crossed with metal rafters. Colossal windows filled the interior with weak sunlight, suggesting it was either dawn or early evening. The building was clearly old and damaged, but the survivors had taken time to clean the interior to a surprising extent, leaving a large open area that had been organized into sections; I could see a food pantry, a stockpile of blankets, clothing, and other supplies, a long table covered with weapons and ammunition, and a sleeping area that didn't seem to be much more than blankets on the floor. On the far side of the factory, I could see two large sets of doors that were heavily barricaded, and in front of them was a short wall of heavy bags that must have been filled with sand or dirt. There were armed police officers everywhere, but scattered among them were civilians in modestly clean clothes, their expressions grim.

 

"Impressive, isn't it?" I startled at the sound of Hange's voice so close to me. I glanced over to see her gaze roaming over the factory as well, pride written all over her face.

 

"How many people are here?" She grinned.

 

"About fifty civilians and 100 police officers. More people are coming in every day, and these cops are working their asses off to keep all of us safe. They alternate patrols, some with the intention of gathering supplies and collecting information about the situation outside, and others with the goal to find survivors. I keep trying to convince them to let me go out with them so I can collect data on the dead ones, but since I'm a doctor it's 'too much of a risk'. Ridiculous, right?" She searched my eyes for the answer, before cackling and smacking me on the back with the palm of her hand. "You're a funny one, Eren. Come by my office later, you still need a check-up, but for now go with Brzenska. You seriously need a bath."

 

I blushed as Hange turned on her heels and marched off, Moblit trailing wearily behind her.

* * *

It turns out, taking a bath here really meant being forced into an ice-cold creek with no clothes on under the watchful eye of Rico, who only smirked at my hesitance to undress in front of her. In the end, I was grateful to have a moment to myself (sort of). After almost two months of wandering alone through deep forests and abandoned towns, suddenly being surrounded by so many people who weren't trying to kill me was overwhelming. Yet, I had so easily fallen back into the patterns of normal human interaction. As I dunked my head under the surface to scrub my greasy hair, I realized that since I had woken up in that room, the dark emptiness that had held me hostage was suddenly filled with so many emotions I felt like I was being torn apart. Names and faces and memories flashed through my head so rapidly I felt dizzy, my heart pounding as it was bombarded by fear, anger, sadness, guilt, and even relief. The walls I had built around myself with blood and bone now had a gaping hole through which my broken soul poured.

 

I realized the soft sounds I had heard were my own sobs.

 

"Eren, get out of there, you're going to get hypothermia. Don't give Hange any more work than she already has." Rico's curt voice dragged me back to reality. I ran my hands over my body and through my hair one more time before pulling myself out of the creek, which trickled by at a convenient distance from the factory. I could see where the Trost police had set up a perimeter of logs and sharpened posts that had been jammed into the ground at an angle to provide additional protection to the guards that constantly watched the surrounding forest.

 

"Ms. Brzenska-"

 

"Ask me questions inside," She interrupted. "For now, get dressed. We shouldn't be outside for too long." Before I could respond, she threw a stack of clothes at my face and turned around.

 

"Thanks," I mumbled, pulling on a plain white t-shirt and grey cargo shorts that were a size too big. There were also fresh white socks and pair of beaten red sneakers that miraculously fit. I was grateful she had given me summer clothes, because the June heat had felt like a punch to the chest when we stepped outside earlier. The sun was rising higher in the sky, and I estimated it was probably around 10am.

 

"Grab your dirty clothes and let's go. You can clean those later, once you've been settled in." I nodded, scooping them into my arms. I was careful not to get my fresh shirt dirty as I followed Rico back to the factory. While approaching the side door that was guarded by a single police officer, a commotion by the front entrance caught my eye. A police car was rolling slowly down the dirt road that I assumed led back to Trost, and waiting to greet it was a group of five officers in uniform with beige duffle bags hanging off of their shoulders. One of the officers turned around, and I realized it was Levi.

 

"What's going on?" I stopped walking. Rico turned and frowned.

 

"A new patrol is switching with the ones who are coming back. They'll take the car and start their shift."

 

"What's Captain Levi doing with them?" She stared at me.

 

"Those people are who is left of his unit. They're some of the best cops you've ever seen, because Levi hand-picked them. He may not look like much, but when things get dirty he's a scary little guy. You'll probably meet them later, they're much more sociable than their captain. Now keep moving."

* * *

I stared at the food that had been handed to me by the civilian, Anna, who managed the pantry. The yellow ceramic plate had a steaming pile of black beans and a small piece of meat.

 

“We all get our own daily rations, but sometimes when we have enough food I cook something for everyone!” The woman smiled gently. “I know it’s not fine dining, but it does the trick.”

 

“Thank you.” I was frozen. _The smell of this food is making me feel sick. I can’t eat this. I can’t just waste food either, but if I give it back to her, that would be suspicious. I don’t need any extra attention. Not when I still don’t know what’s wrong with me._

 

“No problem!” I slowly forced myself to walk away, clutching the plate tightly in my hands. Weaving between the other civilians heading towards Anna’s cooking station, I found my spot in the sleeping area and sat down, still unsure of what to do. The scents wafting from the plate made my stomach churn.

 

“Mama, I’m still hungry!” A voice cried nearby. My head shot up and I desperately looked around until I saw a young boy tugging on his mother’s shirt. His blond hair was long and shaggy, curling around his face in a very familiar style. _Armin._

 

“Phillip, sweetie, we are all hungry. You need to let other people eat too.” His mother scolded him, but I could see she was barely remaining calm; her expression was strained and her hunched shoulders screamed of exhaustion and pain. Before I could fully register what I was doing, I had risen to my feet and approached them. Crouching until I was level with the boy, I offered him my plate.

 

“I’m not that hungry, but I don’t want to waste all of this delicious food. Do you think you could finish it for me?” I smiled encouragingly. A wide grin split across his face, and he eagerly grabbed the plate and ran off to a different section of the sleeping area. When I stood, I suddenly found that a pair of arms had wrapped themselves around me.

 

“Thank you. Thank you so much…” I pat the mother’s back and gave her a small squeeze in return before pulling away.

 

“Don’t worry about it.” I assured her. She nodded tearfully before drawing herself up and following after her son, who was bent over the plate and ripping apart the meat with his fingers.

 

As I stood there, I realized I didn’t know what to do with myself. Every moment since my arrival had been occupied by someone telling me what to do or showing me something. Now, as I watched others move around me with purpose, I was struck by my utter uselessness. Seeing that little boy who looked so much like my best friend felt like getting kicked in the stomach. _What if they’re dead? Both of them… Armin is so smart, I’m sure he could figure out a way to survive, and Mikasa is the scariest fighter I’ve ever seen, but there’s no way any of us could have been prepared for this. What if they’re alive right now, with no food or water or a safe place to sleep while I fucking sit here getting everything handed to me?_

 

I could feel it coming. That anger that had always gotten me in trouble. The unshakeable rage that consumed me until it was all I could think about- it usually meant Mikasa or Armin had to drag me away from something, or my mom had to talk me out of it. But they weren’t here now, I had no one to stop me from letting it burn, from letting it take control. _I am going to kill them all. I am going to kill every fucking biter until I find Mikasa and Armin and then I am going to wipe those dead fucks off the face of this planet._

 

I needed supplies. My knife had been taken away, and even though I wasn’t on the menu for some reason, I still needed a way to kill them. On accident, my eyes snagged on a figure standing by the weapons supply. Levi was talking to a woman with short ginger hair, seemingly discussing a box of ammunition. I couldn’t help but notice how the navy blue police uniform flattered the captain, hugging his shoulders and arms and emphasizing the breadth of his chest. I hadn’t noticed before, but the back of his head was shaved in an undercut. Rico’s words drifted back to me, “ _He may not look like much, but when things get dirty he's a scary little guy_ ”. An idea started to form in my mind. _His unit has the best cops in Trost, huh?_ Maybe if I could find a way to convince Levi to take me on patrols with them, I could get some supplies and make it back into the city. _Mikasa’s a freshman at Trost University, so she should be the first one I look for. Armin graduated high school early to attend the University of Sina, which is a few towns over, so he will be harder to reach, but with Mikasa it should be a piece of cake..._

 

My gaze drifted back to Levi’s face to find him staring right at me. I felt my cheeks start to heat, but I couldn’t waste any more time not looking for my friends. Determined, I started walking towards him, but in my haste I bumped into someone, effectively knocking them to the ground.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry!” I apologized and bent down to help them stand.

 

“Hey, man, it’s no prob-” We both froze, our eyes fixed on each other. I couldn’t believe it. There was no way.

 

“Connie! Fuck man, is that really you?!” I pulled him into a tight hug. He cracked a grin, but his eyes were sunken in dark bags and he seemed even thinner than he had been before.

 

“Yeah, it’s me. It’s good to see you, Eren. Although, if any stubborn bastard would survive this mess, it would be you.” We walked in silence until we reached a more private spot beneath one of the large windows in the far corner of the factory.

 

“I guess so. How long have you been here?” Connie exhaled sharply, his eyes drifting to the ceiling.

 

“I got picked up a few weeks ago, pretty soon after they found this place. Me and some other kids were holed up in The Garrison with some of the kitchen staff. We barricaded ourselves in the back after some of the biters came in while we were eating. It got ugly pretty quick after that, but we were able to live on the stuff they had there until finally we decided to try busting through the back door and running for it. There were a couple in the alleyway who tried to get us, but thankfully one of the patrols came rolling by and killed them.” As Connie spoke, he grew increasingly agitated. I didn’t want to make it worse for him, but I had to know.

 

“Who came here with you? Who’s alive?” I needed to hear some familiar names. I hadn’t realized how bad I missed my other friends, not just Armin and Mikasa, until I saw Connie’s face. He glanced up at me before looking away again.

 

“Jean made it. So did Sasha, Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie. They’re all here.” I sighed in relief.

 

“What about Marco, Ymir, and Christa?”

 

“I don’t know about Ymir and Christa, they didn’t come out with us that day. But Marco…” His eyes grew distant and foggy. _Fuck, not Marco._ Memories of a smiling, freckled face danced across my mind as I placed a comforting hand on Connie’s shoulder.

 

“I’m just glad you guys made it out alive. Where are the others?”

 

“Sasha usually isn’t far from the pantry, you know her. Jean helps out with organizing the supplies they bring back from patrols, and Reiner, Annie, and Bertholdt are always huddled in the sleeping area or by the weapons supply.”

 

“Good to know. Hey, do you-”

  
Suddenly, everything in the factory came to a stuttering halt as a pained scream pierced the air. _Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a Tumblr to connect to the stories that I post on here, my username is @shelookedofdeath. I'm going to be tagging updates to this story under #deadofheartfic. That's how real people do it, right?
> 
> Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more soon!


	4. Bump in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren tries with little success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been working on this chapter for a week and a half, and I think I'm finally satisfied with it. There is some more Eren and Levi interaction here, but I should warn you that their relationship development is going to be pretty slow at first. There's kind of an apocalypse happening, so I think everyone's got their hands full. 
> 
> Also, I have no one to proof-read this for me, so if there are mistakes please let me know.
> 
> Enjoy!

In the shocked pause I sprang into action, sprinting towards the entrance where the scream had echoed from. My movement seemed to startle those around me, some running away and others pushing forward to reach the commotion. Forcing my way through the panicked crowd, I finally reached the other side of the factory. Rather than the splashes of blood and swaying bodies I had been expecting, I instead stumbled into a wailing woman who was thrashing her arms and pulling on her own hair.

 

"I can't _do this anymore_ ! I need him! Where is Henry?! _I need to see him!_ " Her sobs rattled her body, her breath coming short gasps.

 

"I'm sorry, Lisa, our patrol- we didn't see them- he was walking back to the car-" The stammering man couldn't have been more than a few years older than me; he was in uniform, his arms stretched out towards the mourning woman as he attempted to placate her.

 

"How could you do this?! How could you let this happen?! _Henry..._ " Her knees buckled beneath her, mournful swollen eyes staring into the distance. Suddenly, the ginger officer who had been speaking to Levi earlier was crouching down, her small arms wrapped around the woman's shaking shoulders.

 

"Lisa, I know you're in pain, but this isn't the right place to mourn. Come with me, honey." I barely heard the words she murmured, but they seemed to do the trick. Leaning heavily on the officer, Lisa shuffled away. Panic in the factory subsided as word spread about the distressed woman who had lost her husband.

 

Exhaustion crashed over me as my adrenaline faded. I had started to feel weak again earlier, but with my friends on my mind I was able to ignore it. I couldn't push it off any longer, I knew if I didn't get back to the sleeping area soon I would faint again. I dragged my feet across the concrete floor, my thoughts entirely occupied by the oncoming bliss of sleep.

 

"Oh, Levi, don't be that way, I really- _Eren!_ " The sound of my name pulled my eyes from the ground to the source, and once again I found myself staring at Captain Levi. His black hair was striking in the late afternoon sun, and as he shifted to look at me a beam of light fell across his youthful face. The intensity of his silver eyes threw me off guard; despite his sour expression, he was surprisingly beautiful. I had never seen anyone who looked quite like him.

 

“Eren, have you been avoiding me?!” I broke eye contact with Levi to look over at Hange, but it took me a moment to focus on what she said as a sudden realization came to me. _He’s short. Really short._

 

“Um, no?” I didn’t mean for it to sound like a question, but Levi seemed almost amused by my hesitation.

 

“You need to stop by so I can check you over! Have you been feeling dizzy or weak again?” Before I could respond, Levi stared at Hange.

 

“Dizzy?”

 

“Yeah, pretty boy over here fainted earlier. Walked it off like a champ, though. Doesn’t mean he gets out of his doctor’s visit!” She grinned, waltzing up to me and suddenly shining a flashlight directly into my eyes. I winced, rubbing the spots from the backs of my eyelids. Her pleased expression crumbled, and she stepped closer to me.

 

“Hange?”

 

“Eren, have you been hit in the head recently? Had any blackouts or heightened sensitivity to light and motion?” _Yes._

 

“Um, no?” The intense looks they both were giving me made me uncomfortable.

 

“Don’t repeat yourself, brat, you sound stupid.” I stared at Levi in shock.

 

“Eren, don’t lie to me. You need to let me know if you are experiencing anything out of the ordinary.” Hange pressed.

 

“No, I’m fine. Why are you asking?” I needed to end this conversation soon or I was fucked.

 

“Your pupils did not react normally to direct light. This could indicate your brain is experiencing some trauma, which is why it’s important that-”

 

“Please, Hange. I’m exhausted and I really need some sleep. Can I just come see you later?” I felt bad for interrupting her, but if she probed any further I was either going to get shot in the head or kicked out without any supplies. Through the thick lenses of her glasses, her dark brown eyes peered at me like a hawk watching a mouse, waiting for an error in movement to provide the moment of the kill. To my surprise, Levi spoke first.

 

“Let the kid sleep, four-eyes. He looks ready to drop without you dissecting him.” I smiled in gratitude and he looked away, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“Okay, fine. But promise me as soon as you wake up you’ll come find me?”

 

“I promise.”

 

* * *

 

_“Hey guys, did you hear?” Christa is beaming as she sets her lunch tray on the table._

 

_“Hear about what?” Armin says, and all of our attention is now focused on the sweet blond girl and her smirking girlfriend._

 

_“Marco confessed to Jean and Jean kissed him in the boy’s locker room while they were leaving soccer practice yesterday.” There are grins, high fives, and money exchanges for the next few minutes._

 

_“Finally! I thought they would never fucking do it.” Reiner exclaims._

 

_“No, if that tension went on any longer they would both probably implode,” Connie jokes, swatting Sasha’s hand away from his bag of chips. “At least let me have a few of my own chips, babe!”_

 

_Mikasa is silent, but I can feel her eyes on me. Both she and Armin are graduating at the end of this year, and I’m happy for them, but she worries about me more than ever and it’s getting on my nerves. I feel like I need to put on a show so they both can relax about leaving me behind in Shiganshina._

 

_“Here they come!” I hear Armin whisper loudly, and we all turn to watch them walk towards us. Even though they’re not holding hands and are standing an appropriate distance from each other, a faint blush is glowing from beneath Marco’s freckles, and Jean keeps glancing over at him with a disgustingly loving expression. They sit next to each other across from Christa and Ymir, and the whole table is silent before Ymir speaks up._

 

_“Hey Jean, what’s it like having God as your step-dad?” Jean looks at her in confusion and annoyance._

 

_“The fuck does that mean?”_

 

_“You know, since you’re banging Freckled Jesus.” We all burst into laughter, uncontrollably shaking from the expressions on their faces. Marco looks shocked and embarrassed, and Jean looks even more irritated than normal._

 

_“Hey Marco, how do you like being cowboy?” Marco turns to me, his eyes begging me to stop. “You know, since you’re riding that horse.” His blush darkens even further, and the laughter intensifies._

 

_“Can’t keep anything from you vultures,” Jean grumbles, his hand sneaking towards Marco’s under the table._

 

_“No-pe.” Christa grins, popping the ‘p’ and taking a bite out of her cheese pizza. “But you love us anyway.”_

 

* * *

 

I opened my eyes slowly, staring up at the lofty ceiling of the factory. My sleep had been restless, plagued by old memories. My friends would never be together again, not in the same way; our lives had been permanently changed by this new reality, and I hated it.

 

Anger lit my veins on fire, and my vows from earlier returned with renewed vigor. _Find Mikasa and Armin. Kill all the biters._

 

Clenching my teeth, I pushed myself upright. I had only slept for a few hours because there was still light filtering in through the windows, but it was probably close to sunset by now. Most of the civilians were chatting in groups in the sleeping area or hanging clothes to dry on short loops of rope that had been strung on pieces of metal jutting from the walls. _I need to wash my clothes later,_ I remembered. I was grateful for what I had been given, but these cargo shorts kept slipping down every few minutes and I missed the comfort of my jeans. Unlike the civilians, the police officers seemed anything but relaxed. They stood in small clusters whispering to each other, or walking around with severe expressions. Beneath the lazy ease of a hot summer afternoon, there was tension building in the factory, and it didn’t seem to just be from the situation outside.

 

“Did you hear? They brought in two more people earlier. I bet the commissioner is talking to them right now…” A pair of middle-aged women walked by me, their voices barely restrained to a murmur.

 

“If we bring in anyone else, we’ll run out of food and places to sleep. We should start being more selective about who we bring back, it’s not like this is going to last much longer when the government steps in. It would be pointless for all of us to starve because we took on more mouths than we could feed.”

 

“What’s your problem?” The women turned to stare at me. I was standing behind them, my nails digging into my palms.

 

“Excuse me?” The taller woman’s hands rose to her hips as she cocked an eyebrow.

 

“We’ve all been through hell, how can you say that those other people still out there have less of a right to be here than you?”

 

“The government is going to contain this. This is going to be over in a few weeks, we shouldn’t keep risking exposure to the disease to help people who are going to be rescued soon anyways.”

 

“Who do you think-”

 

“Eren! I haven’t seen you in ages, dude!” Suddenly a familiar heavy hand was sitting on my shoulder. “Excuse us, ma’am. He’s always had a bit of a temper.”

 

“He should learn some manners.” I watched the women walk away and counted backwards in my head.

 

“Hey, Reiner.” I sighed, turning around to look at the muscular blond, who was grinning at me like he won the lottery.

 

“I shouldn’t be surprised that the first time I see you in months, you’re arguing with someone. I’m glad you made it here Jaeger.” I smiled sheepishly, catching sight of Bertholdt and Annie lingering a few feet behind us.

 

“Hey guys!” I gave them a small wave, which they returned.

 

“Connie told us you made it, but how come we haven’t seen you around sooner?”

 

“I just came in yesterday. Last night, I think.”

 

“Oh. Well, you’re here now, that’s what matters. Want to come with us? We were just going to go help Jean with the new supplies. A patrol just came in and they hit a jackpot.”

 

“Yeah, sure.” This was my chance to get closer to the patrols. I needed supplies and a way out if I was going to get anywhere near Mikasa or Armin.

 

Following Reiner and Bertholdt through the crowd was the easiest thing I had done since I arrived. People naturally parted around them; Reiner was a wall of muscle and Bertholdt was lanky but almost a head taller than even Reiner. Annie was slightly ahead of me, and I knew better than to initiate small talk. The short blond liked casual conversations about as much as I did, and would walk away if it had no meaning to her. It was one of the things I secretly admired about her; that and the fact that she was almost as scary in a fight as Mikasa.

 

“Hey Jean, guess who we found lurking around?” My head shot up, startled at the sound of Reiner’s voice. I had zoned out, not realizing we had already arrived. On the opposite side of the factory from the sleeping area was the supply station. Laid out on tarps were blankets, clothing, tools, flashlights, spare batteries, soaps, backpacks, rope, towels, and other assorted items. I was impressed. The police officers on patrols were really making an effort to ensure that the people here could have more than enough tools to survive. Two civilians and a cop were organizing and cataloging items in small notepads they each carried, and to my surprise one of them was Jean. He had the same two-toned hairstyle and condescending smirk that I remembered, but it seemed lifeless now. _Losing your best friend and boyfriend of two years will probably do that to a person._

 

“What a shame, Jaeger, I thought I finally got rid of you.” Even his teasing was empty. Making up my mind, I marched forward and pulled him into a hug.

 

“It’s not going to be that easy, horseface. I’m sorry about Marco.” Jean was rigid in my arms before finally going limp and giving me a small squeeze in return. When I pulled away, his eyes were glassy. Clearing his throat, Reiner stepped forward.

 

“So, we heard you guys have got a lot of stuff coming in. Anything we can do to help?”

 

“Uh, sure. We mostly just need help bringing it all in, the three of us should be able to handle it after that.”

 

* * *

 

When we stepped outside, faint light from the sunset was trickling through the leaves and dense branches of the forest. The heat had lessened, and the chirping of crickets floated through the humid air. Police officers were standing by the entrance and on the perimeter; I hadn’t heard gunshots all day so the factory must be far enough from the city that not many biters had reached it yet.

 

Parked on the inside of the perimeter was a police car with its doors opened and trunk popped. There were five cops, two were sitting on the lip of the trunk, one was leaning into the driver’s door, and the fourth and fifth were talking a few feet away. I recognized Levi immediately. _This must be his squad._ One of the cops sitting down was the ginger woman from earlier, and she was bickering with a man whose wavy brown hair was styled in a similar fashion to Levi’s. Jean approached them and the woman perked up.

 

“Oh hey Jean! You’ve finally come for the goods?”

 

“Yep. I brought some help. This is Eren, Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie.”

 

“Pleased to meet you! I’m Petra.” She smiled warmly, hopping to her feet. I stuck out my hand, and surprise flashed across her face as she shook it.

 

“I’m Eren Jaeger. It’s nice to meet you,” I said with a grin. I wasn’t going anywhere with them if they didn’t like me.

 

“Oi brat, back off. Don’t try and act like hot shit when you’re still just a kid.” The man Petra had been talking to stood up with a huff, his mouth twisted into a sneer. She rolled her eyes.

 

“That’s Oluo, ignore him. He’s always trying to be cool like our captain, but it’s had a rather negative impact on his personality.”

 

“Hey, watch it Petra! You should be more respectful since I’m the better cop here.” The two other officers had wandered over, and from the affectionate expressions on their faces, this banter seemed normal between them. They introduced themselves as Gunther and Eld.

 

“Stop messing around. Get this shit unloaded, we’re losing light.” I hadn’t noticed Levi’s approach, but without another word he was gone again.

 

“Is he not going to help?” I asked in confusion.

 

“He has important things to discuss with the commissioner,” Petra explained. “Normally he helps, but there are some… things requiring his attention at the moment.” I wanted to push for more answers, but Jean was shoving clothes into my arms so with a sigh I retreated. Patience had never been a strength of mine, but I would need it if I ever wanted to see Mikasa and Armin ever again.

 

We spent the remaining stretches of daylight carrying supplies into the factory, and by the time we were done my back and arms were sore, but it felt good to be doing something. There was noticeable relief when we replenished soaps and blankets and batteries; candles were a hazard in such close conditions, so everyone relied on flashlights to see when sunlight was not reliable.

 

“So Petra, how often do you guys go on patrol?” She turned to me with a smile.

 

“There are five teams of us that regularly rotate. We don’t go out into the city every day, that would be too taxing on our resources. It’s usually every other day or every few days. Normally we're only gone for two or three hours, but today...” She paused, her eyes boring into me. I returned her gaze without wavering; I knew when I was being assessed. Her mouth quirked, and she shook her head. “I can tell you’re a strong kid, Eren, so don’t misunderstand me, but you should go be with your friends. Don’t concern yourself with what’s happening outside, we’ll keep you all safe until this is over.” She started to walk away, but I reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

 

“Petra wait!” She raised an eyebrow, and I lowered my hand. _I can’t let this opportunity slip away. I have to get back out there._ “My friends… I still have friends in the city. I need to find them. Please, let me come with-”

 

“If you give me their names and physical descriptions, I can keep an eye out for them, but you are not going anywhere.” She sighed. “I’m sorry, Eren. The world out there is no place for kids right now.”

 

_Dammit._

 

* * *

 

It felt good to be back in my own clothes. My shirt had been so torn and bloodied that it had to be disposed of, but my dark-wash jeans were in good condition and my combat boots had just needed a quick rinse in the creek. The summer sun combined with the crowded bodies in the factory made my green zip-up hoodie intolerable to wear, so it was folded and tucked away in the blankets of my sleeping spot instead. I guessed it had been a week since I arrived, and in that time the weakness and dizziness that had hovered over me was finally fading. Hange said my vitals were normal other than a slightly elevated body temperature, but I managed to convince her that my family ran hot.

 

Despite there always being work to do, I was bored out of my mind. My days had been filled with doing laundry, organizing supplies, and cleaning around the factory, and I was restless. Menial tasks with Connie and the others helped take my mind off of the outside, but lying down at night, my thoughts were haunted by the faces of the dead.

 

As I turned restlessly in my mismatched blankets, the clouds cracked open and spilled silver moonlight through the opaque glass of the windows. Faded silhouettes slept all around me, their chests rising and falling peacefully. A child cried out nearby, only to be shushed by a drowsy mother. _What am I doing here?_ I felt utterly out of place. _I shouldn’t be here with these people. I should be out there, looking for Armin and Mikasa._ I had never liked being around many people, and my temper permitted only a few friends who could tolerate me. Even before this all happened, I struggled to fit in; I always felt like I was meant to be somewhere far away, doing something important, being a part of something much bigger than me. In Shiganshina, I felt like I was moving forward with no direction, being pushed through life by the ripples left by those around me. Unlike Armin, who was frighteningly intelligent and diplomatic, or Mikasa, who was stronger and faster than anyone I had ever met, I had little to offer the world. _I’ll never understand how I got so lucky to have such incredible friends._

 

Guilt slammed into me, and it was suddenly difficult to breathe. I sat upright, scrambling to untangle myself from my blankets. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-_ Desperately, I wove between sleeping bodies and sprinted for the side door, yanking it open and inhaling deeply. The night air was heavy and humid, but a cool breeze soothed the panic in my chest.

 

“What the fuck?” I spun around, my heart pounding in my chest. Captain Levi was standing a few feet away, his posture stiff and his right hand resting on the holster of his gun.

 

“Captain Levi? What are you doing out here?” I blurted, my face heating up for being caught.

 

“I could ask the same thing about you. Why did you run out here looking like you were going to shit yourself?”

 

“I, um, just needed some air.” He stared at me for a minute before he finally relaxed his hand and leaned against the side of the factory, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“You should be more careful. I almost shot you.”

 

“Oh. Thanks then. For not shooting me.” Darkness came suddenly, muting the lines of Levi’s face and swallowing the forest around us. “Um, why are you out here?”

 

“I’m on duty. You should go back inside, kid.” The thought of going back inside, of having to lie still for hours with nothing to distract me from the guilt and fear and anger that burned in my gut like acid, made me cringe.

 

“I, uh, I have to go. To the bathroom.” There was a beat of silence.

 

“Do you need help or something? Just go in the bushes. If anything happens I’ll be here.”  

 

It was slightly difficult to navigate in the dark, but my eyes adjusted enough so I didn’t trip or run into a tree as I stepped behind a tangle of underbrush and unzipped my jeans. Even though I had said it just to avoid going back indoors, I actually did have to pee.

 

I stood there for a few moments after I was done, simply enjoying the peace of the night. Those weeks I had spent roaming the woods had tested my strength and worn me down, but there had been a primal freedom in facing the natural world without anything to shield me. When my mind had finally silenced and allowed the heat of the sun and the sounds of the wilderness to claim me, I was no longer myself, but a part of the forest.

 

A rustle pulled me from my thoughts. A dark, foreboding feeling drenched me in cold sweat. My body reflexively sank lower, and I pressed my back into a nearby tree. I felt like I was back, alone and dizzy with exhaustion, stumbling through the woods, avoiding the unsteady steps of the dead. _Don’t move. They don’t want you, don’t make a sound. Let it pass by._ My hand drifted to my back pocket, but my knife was gone. _Why is my knife gone?_ There was a moment of realization. _Fuck, Levi!_

 

“Hey kid, are you okay?” _Fuck, don’t speak, it’ll hear you-_ “Kid!”

 

Moonlight punctured through the trailing sweep of clouds, illuminating the forest. Through the leaves, I saw a man’s head turn slowly to look in Levi’s direction.

 

“Shit!” I swore, leaping forward. With a strong kick to its lower back, I sent the biter flying forward into the open, where Levi already had his gun in hand.

 

“Eren, get away from there!” He ordered, but the biter was already standing, moving towards Levi. _Shit, if he fires his gun he could attract more._

 

“Levi don’t shoot!” I warned desperately, but he had already holstered his gun and was pulling out a knife. Knowing what I had to do, I ran behind the biter and grabbed its arms, restraining it.

 

“Eren, no!” He swore, and suddenly he was in front of me, the knife buried in the biter’s skull. I let the body drop to the ground, my heart drumming rapidly from adrenaline. We stood in silence, unmoving. Levi finally reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of cloth, cleaning the blood from his knife and sheathing it.

 

“Levi, I-” The air was knocked out of me as I was thrown against the brick wall of the factory. A strong arm pressed into my chest, trapping me.

 

“ _Never, ever_ do that again. Do not engage with those things unless you _absolutely_ have to, especially if you are unarmed. I had it under control. If you ever get in my way again, I will shoot you.” His voice was venomous, the intensity of his stare shocking me. He held my gaze, then moved away, glancing at the body lying in the dirt with disdain. “Now get the fuck back inside and tell Petra to come out here with the others. We need to get rid of this mess.”

 

Numbly, I turned and walked back inside, searching for Petra’s sleeping spot.

 

_What the fuck just happened?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the most romantic of scenarios, I know. Have patience!
> 
> I hope you liked this long chapter. I'll probably have the next one posted in a week. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all of the kudos and comments so far, by the way! I'm definitely feeling the love!


	5. The Dead Don't Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All at once, everything ends and begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a bit longer to post this chapter, I had a really busy week!
> 
> There is brief police communication over walkie-talkies, and I do not know anything about police codes so if I did something inaccurately, please let me know!
> 
> Enjoy!

It happened a few days after the incident with Levi. 

 

I had risen in the middle of the night to follow through with the escape I had been planning almost since my arrival. Working with Jean had allowed me to pilfer small items here and there- a water bottle, an energy bar, spare socks, little things that I would need. It was still difficult for me to eat without feeling the urge to vomit, but I had to force it down so I could stay strong for Mikasa and Armin. The hardest items to take had been a bag and a knife; the bag I had barely managed to get past Nanaba, the officer who watched over the supplies, and the only reason I had been able to slip the knife up my sleeve at the food pantry was because of a commotion that Sasha had been making. I hadn’t been able to thank her properly for that, so instead I had given her my dinner. 

 

Everything was packed and ready, and I was restless, both eager and nervous to be on the road again. I had abandoned my plan to work with Levi’s unit; after Petra shut me down and Levi scolded me about the biter, I knew they would never let me go anywhere near the city with them. It meant that the journey to reach my friends would take me much longer than if I had a car ride to Trost, but I was already wasting time by lingering. In any case, I had a bad feeling that had been slowly festering as the days went on; something was happening in the factory, and I had noticed a strange tension among the police officers that the other civilians seemed oblivious to. It fueled my drive to get away from the factory as soon as I could.

 

Creeping silently through the sleeping area, I tensed every time someone shifted or coughed. Finally, I made it to the side door. Holding my breath, I listened outside. I had figured out that the guard who worked the shift before Levi took a piss at the same time every night. After a few minutes, I heard him walk away and some bushes rustle. Slowly pushing the door open, I slipped out and shut it quietly behind me. The moon was waning, but offered enough light that I was able to run across the open grass until I reached the treeline without falling. I waited until my heartbeat slowed and my breathing returned to normal to carefully crawl through the underbrush. In the darkness, blinking fireflies drifted by and mosquitoes buzzed by my ears as they searched for food. I hadn’t been bitten once this summer, and I half suspected it had something to do with whatever kept the biters away from me. 

 

I could hear the creek bubbling somewhere in front of me, so I shifted my direction more to the left. I couldn’t wander too far, I had to follow the road back to Trost. It was when I took a moment to rest, leaning my back against the rough bark of a tree, that I heard voices.  _ Fuck!  _ I froze, my heart pounding.  _ There’s no way they already know I’m gone! Unless the guard from the side door saw me running, or one of the civilians reported me sneaking out…  _

 

I listened closer. I heard two voices somewhere nearby, both male.

 

“The others are getting restless. We need to give them orders or they’ll start acting on their own.” 

 

“Not yet! Erwin knows something is wrong, that bastard always had a nose for trouble. We wait a few more days, then we act.” The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. 

 

“Everything is ready, Dok, you just need to tell us when. Erwin has the midget and his unit sniffing around, but all they know is some of the ammo is missing.”  _ Dok?  _ The name brought images of the man from before, the police officer who had interrogated me when I first got here.  _ What is happening?  _ The “midget” he was referring to must have been Levi. I suddenly remembered seeing Petra and Levi in deep discussion by the weapons table.  _ Were they investigating stolen ammo? Is Dok planning to do something? _

 

“Just tell the boys they’ll be back in Trost soon enough. Come on, we need to go back before they notice we’re gone.”

 

Their footsteps faded, and I exhaled the breath I had been holding. Something very bad was about to happen in the factory, and none of them had a clue. Before I could change my mind, I was crawling back towards the side door.  _ I’m sorry guys. I need to tell Levi. Just hang on a little longer.  _

 

Finally, I made it back to where I began. Scanning the side of the factory, I saw nobody but the silhouette of the guard standing by the door. Silently, I debated whether to show myself or find a way to distract the guard so I could slip back inside and find Levi. The decision was made for me when I shifted my weight and snapped a twig. I almost swore out loud, but I bit down on my tongue instead and held still. 

 

“Who’s there?” The guard called out, and a flashlight beam swung over in my direction. 

 

“Captain Levi!” I sighed in relief, rising to my feet and stepping into the open. The light blinded me, and I put up a hand to cover my eyes. “Um, can you point that away from me?”

 

“What the hell are you doing out here? How did you get out without being seen?” He pointed the flashlight at the ground, and after the spots faded from my vision I was able to see him. The shadows under his eyes were more pronounced than they had been a few days before. I saw his gaze flicker from my face to the bag hanging from my shoulder, and then it was clenched in his hands. His face hardened as he sorted through the items I had stolen. 

 

“Uh, Captain, I can explain-”

 

“You really want to go back out there? Are you stupid? Or just suicidal?” I swallowed. 

 

“I can explain later, first you really need-”

 

“I don’t need to listen to a goddamn thing some suicidal brat tries to tell me. Get your ass back inside and return this shit.”

 

“Levi-”

 

“Now, kid.” He turned and started to walk away.  _ We don’t fucking have time for this.  _

 

“Stop!” Levi stilled. I stalked up to him, anger burning a warpath through my body. “Will you listen to me for one fucking minute? It’s kind of important, asshole.” He gave me a look so intense I felt chills whisper down my spine. I glared defiantly back at him until he took a step closer to me. If he wasn’t so intimidating, I would have smirked at how he had to look up to maintain eye contact. 

 

“This better be good, or you’re not going to shit for a week.” His voice was dangerously low, and my heart convulsed. Taking a deep breath, my mind went blank on what to say.  _ Shit. _

 

“I know where the ammo is.” I blurted. Suddenly I was on my knees, and the front of my shirt was bunched into Levi’s fist. He leaned over me.

 

“How the fuck do you know about that?” 

 

“I-I mean I don’t know  _ where  _ it is, but I know who took it. I know what’s going on.” His eyes were boring into me I couldn’t breathe. 

 

“Keep talking.” He ordered. I told him everything I had heard, and when I finished he released my shirt and stepped back. 

 

“Dok. Of course. I never trusted that pig, he always smelled like the shit he was rolling in. Come on, you’re repeating exactly what you just told me to Erwin.”

 

“Wait, does he have to know that it was me?” He looked at me blankly. I gestured to the bag he still had in his left hand, and he threw it at me.

 

“Go put that somewhere. I need to find Eld, he can take my shift for now.” I didn’t move, and he sighed. “Really? Fuck. Fine, we’ll say you were taking a piss. Now hurry up.”

 

“Thank you, Levi.” I smiled at him, but he just spun around and walked away. After a moment I realized I was staring after him, so I scurried along the side of the factory and found a pile of bricks close to the back that I used to conceal the bag. 

 

Despite it being the middle of the night, Erwin was still working in the office I had first met him in. His shoulders were hunched over a splash of papers spread out on the desk, but when we entered he straightened and rose to his feet.  _ Holy shit he's tall.  _ The handsome blond man was broader than Reiner and almost as tall as Bertholdt; I felt slightly weak in the knees and scolded myself for being so superficial.  _ Time and place, Eren.  _

 

“Levi, what's going on? How can I help you two?” A hand between my shoulder blades pushed me forward. I cleared my throat and explained everything I had heard, excluding the detail of my attempted solo mission. When I finished, Erwin sat down and steepled his fingers, pressing them to his lips. 

 

“Hm. I had my suspicions that Dok was behind the unrest among my subordinates, but I appreciate the confirmation. With regards to their intentions, I am aware that not all of the officers here agree with my decision to leave the city. I'll not tire you with procedure, Eren, but my choices in response to this emergency have been admittedly… unusual.” He paused, burning blue eyes staring past me. As I watched his mind work, I realized that this man was much more frightening than I had ever given him credit for. The only person I knew with a similarly calculating intelligence was Armin. 

 

“What are you going to do?” His intense gaze shifted back to me, and my stomach twisted uncomfortably. 

 

“I am grateful that you brought this to me Eren, but you are still a civilian. Go back to bed, and don’t speak a word of this to anyone, not even your friends. We will deal with this amongst ourselves.”

 

“But what if something happens? Won’t we  _ civilians  _ be caught in the crossfire?” I exclaimed indignantly. 

 

“Hey, watch your tone kid.” In my anger, I had forgotten Levi was standing beside me. Erwin’s expression was blank, but there was a cold tension in his eyes. 

 

“Go back to bed, Eren. Everything is going to be fine.”

 

* * *

I couldn’t sleep.  I was too aware, every sound and every flicker of movement layered tension into my muscles until I was nearly trembling from the effort of remaining calm. The air was cooler tonight, and a faint draft carried with it the scent of rain. I watched as the inside of the factory slowly reclaimed its shapes and colors, dusted pink by the rising sun. Justifying to myself that it was now a new day, I finally stood, stretching the kinks out of my back and cracking my neck. A few others were stirring too, but most of the factory was quiet. Movement on the far end of the sleeping area, closer to the entrance, caught my eye. Glancing over, I saw that Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie were awake. Bertholdt noticed me staring at them, so I gave a little wave. To my surprise, he quickly looked away, turning his back to me.  _ That’s weird.  _ I decided not to bother them, instead rising to my feet and wandering over to the food pantry. My appetite still hadn’t returned, but I decided I was mildly thirsty. A police officer I didn’t recognize was standing guard, and he gave no response when I asked for a bottle of water. 

 

“Excuse me, sir? I asked if I could have a bottle of water.” Finally, he tilted his head to look down at me.

 

“Get a move on. We don’t have enough water for me to just be handing out to spoiled kids whenever they ask. You’ll be given water later.” I found myself able to do nothing but stare. Any annoyance that had flared in me was crushed by the familiarity of his voice.  _ This was the officer who spoke to Dok last night.  _

 

“Easy, Travers, let him have some water. Eren does some good work around here, don’t you Eren?” Forcing myself to look at Eld, who had appeared behind me, I gave him a tight smile. 

 

“Actually, I’m not thirsty anymore. Do you know where Levi is, by any chance?” 

 

“Yeah, I just gave him his shift back. He’s outside.”

 

“Thanks.” Without another word, I walked away, trying not to appear rushed. When I snuck a glance over my shoulders, Travers was glaring at me suspiciously. 

 

To my relief, the short cop was leaning with his back against the wall of the factory.

 

“What happened to sleeping, kid? You look like shit.”

 

“Wasn’t working for me.” In the faint light of dawn, his face seemed softer. I could see the exhaustion beneath his stony expression, though, and a prick of worry stung my chest. 

 

“Do you need something?” He prompted dryly. 

 

“Oh, right! Um, I saw the other guy. Well, I figured out who it was.The guy I overheard talking to Dok in the woods, it’s Officer Travers.” He was quiet for a moment, his eyes wandering back over to the gently swaying trees. A cool wind was blowing in from the east, fluttering his hair and scattering the silky black strands from their normal place. 

 

“Travers, huh? Good to know.”

 

I felt no need to leave, and Levi said nothing, so we stood beside each other in comfortable silence. The growing daylight was muted by dark clouds spilling over the horizon, and the birdsong was subdued; it felt like everything was holding its breath, savoring the peace before the storm. 

 

“It’s going to rain soon,” I murmured. Levi was watching me, his eyes unreadable. I don’t know how long we stood there, but for the first time in what must have been forever I felt truly calm. Everyone was awake by now, and I could hear them inside the factory, but I was worlds away, content in my seconds of freedom where I breathed without weight on my chest. 

 

A droplet shattered on my cheek, startling me. I lifted my face towards the sky as the clouds split open, the rain hurtling towards the ground in sheets of cold water. Grinning, I raised my arms into the air and let it soak me.  _ I’m alive. I’m here, I’m alive.  _ Energy crackled through me like shocks of lightning, my heart beat strongly in my chest, my lungs filled with damp air and I felt human again, truly human. Thunder groaned and rumbled, and I shivered, lowering my arms and turning to Levi. The creases in his normally stern expression had smoothed into something different, something unguarded and new. His eyes were as chaotic as the storm clouds above us, molten lead that burned bright. I smiled softly, and it was only for him. 

 

“We have a situation by the front entrance.” A voice crackled through Levi’s walkie-talkie. It felt like being woken from a deep dream; my head spun from the sudden immersion into reality.

 

“What’s happening?” The harsh exterior had returned, but I heard the stilted notes in his monochrome tenor. 

 

“Looks like there’s a group of them moving towards us, I spot at least forty or fifty, there’s probably more.”

 

“Shit.” Levi swore. “10-4, I’m headed your way.” He grabbed the side door and yanked it open, pushing me inside. “Stay in, no matter what. Make sure nothing comes through this door.” 

I stood there, frozen with shock. It was bound to happen; staying near a city, it was inevitable that large groups of the infected would start to wander, searching for food. I looked around at all of the people inside the factory. They were on edge, they knew something was wrong as some police officers rushed toward the entrance while others herded the civilians together. I pressed my back against the side door, knowing that if any biters got through it would be a massacre. 

 

“Eren!” Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie were walking towards me. “What are you doing?”

 

“I’m guarding the door,” I lowered my voice. “There’s a group of them coming towards us.”

 

“Why are you guarding the door if you have no weapons? You’re defenseless, Eren.” Reiner changed, somehow. I saw it in his face, in his body. “You should come with us.”

 

“What?” I stared at them in confusion. “Come with you? Where?”

 

“Back to our home, back to the Church. Our people need us, the Judgment has come and God cannot save us if we are surrounded by these disgusting sinners. If you come with us, we could save your soul. These people must be purged, but you’re different Eren.” I remembered hearing that their parents were members of a secretive church that was tucked somewhere deep into the countryside; I had even heard rumors that it was a cult. 

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“This plague is God’s punishment for our sins. Don’t you see? All of these people must be purged so that a new world may rise from the ashes free of deceit and suffering. We are doing God’s work. Their souls cannot be saved, but yours can if you come with us.”  _ They were awake so early this morning… _

 

“Please, Eren. They will be here soon! If you’re coming with us, we need to go now.” Bertholdt spoke up, his eyes panicked.

 

“Did… did you bring them here? Did you lead those biters to the factory?” The words stuck like tar on my tongue. 

 

“We are doing God’s work, Eren. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” Reiner sighed, and chills ran down my spine. “If you’re not coming with us, get out of our way.”

 

“How many are there, Reiner?” 

 

“It doesn’t matter.” I turned to Annie, desperate.

 

“How many?!” She observed me silently, and I saw a flash of something in her eyes before her gaze dropped to the floor. 

 

“Hundreds.”

 

_ No. Please, no. _

 

“Goodbye, Eren.”

 

* * *

_ Light. Dark. Everything is gray. I cannot feel anything. I cannot see anything. I am surrounded by silence. I am underwater, drifting through black oceans, pulled by currents, unmoving.  _

 

_ Pain. I feel pain. It pierces through my skull like a blunt blade, tearing my flesh. Flesh. A flavor. The flavor of blood.  _

_ My back is sore. Something sharp is digging into my spine. Shadows move across my vision. I am surrounded by people.  _

 

_ I can hear it. The rain, whipping itself against crumbling bricks and dull glass. I cannot smell it. The air holds the scent of something else, something rotten. Death. _

 

My eyes opened slowly, strained by the effort. The ceiling of the factory loomed above me, distant and shrouded from the weak light hitting the windows.  _ What-  _ the memories hit like an avalanche; I was buried, unable to breathe, the weight crushing my chest.  _ Reiner- Bertholdt- Annie- the dead-  _ fear set into my bones like iron bars. Stiffly, I turned my head to the left. They were everywhere. 

 

From my position on the ground, all I could see was legs and feet, shuffling slowly in no direction. The concrete floor was slick with blood, pools of red soaking into chunks of viscera. As it had been since this all began, the dead ignored me; I was a body they had no appetite for.

 

I moved with steady caution still- I didn’t want to draw any unwanted attention. Sitting up, I ignored my throbbing headache and assessed my surroundings. The side door was to my right, thrown open and gently hitting the wall from the pressure of the wind. It was still raining heavily, but the thunder and lightning seemed to have stopped, which meant the storm didn’t have much longer before it began to fade. I heard no sounds but those of the dead, no screams, no crying, no shouting for help; it was over, everyone had either fled or been eaten. 

 

“Fuck.” I allowed myself that single whispered word, digging the palms of my hands into my eyes. I sat there for a while, overwhelmed by the anger and despair that raged within me. Finally, I rose to my feet. A few heads turned, but there was no aggression. It was a pure instinctual reaction to movement. I watched them, stared at their torn, bloody clothes and their decaying flesh and their vacant eyes. I hated them all. They were so close to being human, just close enough that I could fool myself into thinking they were truly alive and conscious, and that made me hate them even more. 

 

I walked as they did. With slow shuffles, I left the factory behind me. There was nothing left for me there. As the rain hit me, I remembered last night, how I had tried to run. My warnings made no difference, everyone had been doomed to die long before Dok could wreak his havoc. I almost left the pack I had hidden behind, but at the last moment I decided to pull it out from beneath the pile of bricks I had left it under.  _ I guess I can go find Mikasa and Armin now.  _

 

As I lifted the pack from the ground, my eyes caught on the kitchen knife I had stuffed into the side pocket.  _ Didn’t I say I was going to kill them all?  _ The dead wandered around me, some approaching from the forest and others leaving, their food supply having been used up. I gripped the knife in my hand, felt its weight, its deadly shape.  _ Why start being a hypocrite now? _

 

* * *

“Stop this, let him go!”

 

“Calm down-”

 

“I swear to God if you do not let him go this instant-”

 

“He’s waking up!” 

 

Finally, some silence. The shouting was making the blood pound in my head. Every muscle in my body was sore, and I hadn’t felt this exhausted in a while. Actually, I couldn’t remember ever feeling this exhausted. Groaning, I lifted my head and blinked my eyes open. Blurry faces wobbled into focus, and my gaze skipped over each one; Hange, Erwin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Mikasa.  _ Mikasa? _

 

“What’s going on?” I croaked.  _ Wow, I sound like shit.  _ No one responded. I tried to move, but I couldn’t. Looking down, I realized that I was sitting on the ground, tightly bound to a tree with thick paracord rope. “What? Why?” 

 

Pushing past Levi, Mikasa rushed over to me and pulled me into a hug. 

 

“Thank God, thank God you’re alive, oh…” She started to quietly sob into my shoulder as she held me. I smiled gently, wishing I could comfort her. 

 

“Yeah, I’m alive. I’m okay.”

 

“Mikasa, move away from him.” Erwin spoke up, his voice soothing but firm. 

 

“He hasn’t turned, he’s fine! Untie him!” 

 

“Mikasa…”

 

“ _ No! _ ” 

 

“Hey, Mika, it’s okay. I get it. I understand.” Everyone was staring at me again. She hesitated before standing up and taking a step back. Hange knelt down beside me, her face burning with curiosity. 

 

“Eren, how did you do it? I mean, what you did is physically impossible, not just because of the limits of what the human body can handle, but the sheer numbers-”

 

“What are you talking about?” I interrupted her. 

 

“You don’t remember? How interesting. The exhaustion from what your body has undergone must be preventing your mind from processing everything that has happened, I wonder…”   
  


“Leave him alone, can’t you see he needs rest?”

 

“I’m sorry Mikasa, but we need answers from him now in case he poses any kind of threat to us.” Erwin calmly met her glare.

 

“Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” I was starting to get frustrated. My head hurt like a bitch and the rope was rubbing my skin raw. 

 

“Eren.” Levi was in front of me. His mouth was curved in a frown, and his eyes were cold and guarded. “What is the last thing you remember?” I leaned my head against the rough bark of the tree and sighed.

 

“Um… well I remember talking to you, and then going to see Erwin. I remember it started to rain…” His expression never faltered. “Then I remember… the walkie-talkie… Reiner…” My stomach sank.  _ Fuck.  _ I stared at Levi and felt tears well into my eyes. Blinking them back harshly, I turned to Erwin. “It was three kids from my high school. Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie. Somehow, they snuck out and led that horde to the factory. Their parents were part of some crazy cult, but I guess they believed in that stuff too because they told me this disease is some kind of cleansing by God. When I didn’t go with them, Reiner knocked me out.” Everyone was stunned, especially those who knew the trio. 

 

“That doesn’t matter now. What does matter is how the fuck you’re still alive.” I saw it suddenly. As I held Levi’s gaze, I saw the fear and the confusion; his hard expression and apathetic tone was a mask he wore well, but for a moment I saw the emotion beneath. I took a deep breath. 

 

“This is going to sound crazy, and please believe me when I say that I don’t know why I am this way… but for some reason, the biters don’t want me. I have walked right through a whole group of them without a weapon and not a single one even tried to attack. I don’t know why, I swear, they just… ignore me. I’m human, I swear. I’m human.” Nobody spoke. Nobody moved. 

 

“What the fuck?” It was Jean. I kept my eyes on Levi, watched him study me. 

 

“I want to see it.” He said finally. “Prove it to me.” Leaning close enough that I could feel his breath against my cheek, Levi cut the ropes and hauled me to my feet. He lingered for a moment, our faces mere inches apart, then turned and walked away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Pretty dramatic, huh? There is some action (sort of), some angst, some Levi x Eren development, and a wild Mikasa appears!
> 
> All will be revealed soon... 
> 
> Also the story is about to get much more descriptively violent, so be prepared for that. This is the turning point.
> 
> Stay tuned and thanks for reading! <3


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